But my story doesn’t end there. In 2004 my sister Linda was diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer and passed away in 2007. Linda went through diagnostic tests, procedures and treatments that weren’t around when I was diagnosed This tells me that our dollars are truly being used to find that cure and to help those diagnosed with this devastating disease. My sister and my dad are two of the most precious people in the story of my life. And we’ll always be together.
I promised Linda that I would continue to work hard to raise funds for the American Cancer Society so that a cure will someday be found. The American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life is about CELEBRATING – I celebrate my life as a survivor….it is about REMEMBERING – I will always remember Dad and Linda and how hard they fought their cancer battle……and it is about FIGHTING BACK – I will continue to Relay so that my two daughters, Jill and Morgan, and my two nieces (Linda’s daughters Heidi and Lori), and my great niece (Linda’s granddaughter Aili whom she never saw), will never have to hear those words that we heard: “you have cancer”.
I ask that anyone who wishes to join me in helping this great organization in their mission to provide cancer education, to advocate our legislators to continue funding, to provide services to patients and their families and to continue funding for research contact me.
I had the honor of giving a speech at the 2008 Gardner Area Relay For Life during the Survivor Lap of the Relay. Here’s what I said.
Many of us have special roles that are a part of our life. I am a wife, a mom, an aunt, a sister-in-law, a nurse, a friend…..but the 2 roles I hold dear to my heart are daughter and sister.
My Dad – Walt, Wally, Pop, Grampy – was a very special man. I know that’s where I received my passion for volunteering and helping others….because that was my Dad’s life. He was a Mason climbing the ranks to the top roles in several lodges and dear to his heart were his working years as a firefighter – there’s something about that “brotherhood” of our firefighters and we, here, at this Relay know that with our logistics crew.
After Dad retired he became very involved with all the senior citizen activities even being the president of the booster club right up until the day he died. This was my Dad--always there for everyone and especially for all of his “girls”. We share something with another Relay team as Dad used to call us his “harem”, too.
But in 1987 dad received the diagnosis of non-Hodgkins lymphoma. We had reassurance from his surgeon that he would be able to fight this and we thought forever, but that didn’t happen. Dad went through multiple radiation treatments traveling to UMMC daily and along the way made many friendships. He was proud with every “diploma” he received when his treatment was again done. Dad was a huge advocate, writing many letters to promote building a radiation treatment center in Fitchburg. He would be so proud today to know that cancer patients don’t have to travel to Worcester anymore for their radiation as we have a beautiful facility now at the Burbank campus of Health Alliance.
In 1992 Dad found a lump on his leg and we knew this was going to be the toughest battle for him to fight. He received another round of radiation and then chemotherapy, but this time it wasn’t working. He was admitted into the hospital and then sent home again multiple times. Dad always worried about everyone else and I know deep in my heart this is the reason why he had a hard time coping at home – his care was Mom’s, Linda’s and my responsibility and he didn’t want us to have to do that.
Then in January 1993 Dad went to the hospital for his last time. We stayed with him as much as we could. I will never forget one night about a week before he died. I was sitting in the corner of his room and thought he was sleeping. I heard him say “are they gone?” I questioned who and he said “Mom and Linda”….yes, they had just left to go home. The next thing he said was “come up here, I want to talk” and I pulled the chair right next to his bed, held his hand, and we had the most emotional and special “talk” that I will never forget. I hope each and every one of you who are caregivers will have that moment. He wasn’t scared anymore (and I always wondered what Dad saw when he was staring so peacefully at the wall at time!). Dad thanked me and called me his “gold mine” and said he knew I would take care of all his “girls” not only because of the “nurse” in me, but because I was like him.
Dad died peacefully with us there beside him, a moment I will also never forget. And he was laid to rest with his firefighter brothers right beside him as honor guards.
Linda and I continued as Dad’s “girls” and joined with our best friend Mickey, a few years later forming a team at our first Relay For Life. We got hooked on volunteering for this event. Mickey’s Dad, who was a friend of my Dad, passed away a couple of years after him. We wanted to remember our Dad and we wanted to work to find that cure so a loved one wouldn’t have to go through what our Dads had to endure.
Then at a routine mammogram in 1998 my whole life changed. I heard those 3 terrible words “You have cancer.” After several surgeries, treatments and with a great oncologist, I succeeded! There was one person who was beside me all the way—my sister Linda. She went to the one radiology appointment – how did she know it was the one that would be upsetting because of some comments made to me. She was at the beach with me when I had made the phone call to find out the biopsy results, wanting to give me her huge massive cell phone that had to be plugged in “just in case” I needed to call someone! She coordinated meals made for me during my treatment days and was always doing the little things like putting a card on my desk with a countdown of days left for treatment. I was always the caregiver, the nurse, but Linda was the only one who could take over that role for me.
The next year Linda wanted to coordinate a sister team to our "Rays of Hope" at the Relay and “On Angels’ Wings” was born. I’ll never forget walking that first survivor lap with Susie, George, Martha and many others…yes, celebrating and smiling….yes, crying! After this year I needed to say thank you to the ACS for my life because my cancer was found on mammogram – I was taking the drug Tamoxifen – all found because of ACS and research…..so I joined the planning committee the rest is history. The friends that I have made and the people that I have met through this organization are so special to me.
But, my story doesn’t end there. Linda had been having aches and was thinking she may have arthritis. At a routine physical our PCP ordered a bone scan and her whole life changed. She had some “hot spots” and they needed to find the source. Linda went through diagnostic tests that weren’t even around when I was diagnosed (once again, thanks to research!) and they found a very tiny spot on her breast. They biopsied it and the diagnosis was Stage IV metastatic breast cancer. I was with her that terrible day at the oncologist’s office. We cried together and I tried to be positive for her. She was told it was a disease that would never go away and she needed to look at it as a chronic condition. Immediate intravenous treatment was done and she was given a plan of action. I kept saying take one day at a time right now and we’ll fight this together.
Linda went through so much with constant bumps in the road, with blood work and X-Rays always changing. She baffled many doctors.
Linda was a first grade teacher in the same school where I am the school nurse and she constantly came to me with questions and concerns and needing explanations. I always wonder if I said the right thing and I know at times I probably didn’t, but I am so thankful to have been able to be there for Linda through everything she endured.
That fall Linda wanted to walk in the Making Strides walk in Boston for Breast Cancer. Even though she was going through so much, she coordinated everything and many of us joined her. That was so special to me to walk side by side with my sister for 6 miles sharing thoughts and stories. After a year things really started changing and Linda needed to start chemotherapy--a really hard thing for her to hear because her oldest daughter was getting married in a few weeks. But, we both knew what she had to do and she once again met this challenge with determination, telling her girls “I’m going to beat this and I’ll be ok”.
I went with her to get her wig as we wanted to be prepared “just in case” for the wedding and met Mary – one of many people in Linda’s journey who made her feel so special. Linda also participated in the Look Good, Feel Better program that ACS offers before the wedding…..and even tho’ “Dixie” (the name of her wig) looked beautiful on Linda, she didn’t accept it for a long time….and it wasn’t until she saw the wedding pictures that she finally said “it didn’t look too bad!”
Linda continued with chemo until another obstacle occurred with a questionable spot in her eye – she then needed radiation therapy and chemo was stopped temporarily. The holidays of 2006 were special and how I tried to be positive for her – even when there were tears and questions if this would be her last. Many of us know that Linda had a beautiful singing voice and that Christmas I could see the change as her strength wasn’t there…..she knew and I knew, but again the words said were “one day at a time and I’m here for you.”
After February vacation Linda showed me her waistline which was swelling. I knew that the liver was probably more involved and I know Linda knew something was wrong, too. Again she looked for the answer. As a nurse, I wanted so much to say that this is what the problem is and this is what you have to do to make it better, but all I could say what to call her oncologist Sheila Donnelly the next day. Things just got worse from that day on and it was so hard to see her struggle. She didn’t want to die. She was scared, and then about a week or so before her death we were able to hold hands and talk (and she did so with her youngest daughter, too) and I just kept telling her she would never be alone. The nights that I stayed with her will always be special to me and like I said before I hope each and every one of you who have that important role of caregiver are able to get the chance to have those special moments.
Linda passed away on April 9th, the day after Easter, with her family circling her. The heavenly choir received a beautiful woman with such faith in God that day and I know her song will always be with us.
Sisters……so different…..one taller than the other….one petite, the other NOT……2 different colors of hair……each is unique in so many ways. But for all the things that were different and unique about them, these 2 sisters were the best of family and friends entwined together through all the days of our lives.
My sister and my Dad are two of the most precious people in the story of my life. And we’ll always be together. My role of daughter and sister will remain forever special in my heart and I am so grateful to say “Pop and Linda, I love you and I miss you and I know every night when I look to the sky in prayer and see the stars shining that both of you are looking from the other side sending your love.”
Dan Candell is a 10-year veteran of professional stage hypnotism who performs over 250 shows per year. His shows are truly an EXPERIENCE - you will be amazed and laughing so hard you will cry. You have never seen anything like one of Dan's shows and you cannot miss this event! You can even come on stage to be hypnotized and BE the show.
Dan has been gracious enough to donate part of his proceeds to the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life teams On Angels' Wings and Rays of Hope, both of the Greater Gardner Relay. The show will be held on Friday, March 26, 2010 at 7:00pm at the Monty Tech High School Auditorium. Please come and bring all of your friends and family so it can be a huge success! You will be so glad you did! For ticket information and sales (just $10 at the door, but $8 if purchased in advance), contact Marcia by phone at 978 582 7771 (home) or 617 842 7190 (cell) or
email her
or get tickets in person at the March Relay For Life Team Captain's meetings at Westminster Elementary School.